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Nov. 5th, 2009 @ 10:40 am (no subject)
Being something of a master in the art of compartmentalisation, and not a little prickly, most people seem to think me untouchable, a bit cold (or for those who don't hate me, 'reserved'). One tough nut. Certainly not the type to wear my heart on my sleeve.

But it is as much a cliche as it is the truth that appearances are deceiving. The person you think of as shy will actually talk your ear off, given half a chance. The most flowery, romantic love letters were written by absolute bastards. And under the shell of a cooly unemotional ex-prostitute beats the heart of someone who was only waiting for the right conditions in which love could blossom.

I'm not talking about passion. I am, indeed, passionate about T, hugely so. But if the last years have taught me nothing else it's that passion is usual, common even. It can be had by the hour if you're so inclined. You can fall for someone in an instant, for an instant. What this is, is something else.

So much has changed since last summer that I can hardly imagine, much less express, all of it. But I'll try. For the first time in years, I feel safe. No longer do I look in the mirror and see someone who puts up with emotional abuse because no one else would have me. I see someone who is free to choose to love and be loved, or be alone, whatever she likes.

I wake up in the morning next to someone who feels like... like nothing else. The road hasn't been easy, we've both had cold feet at different times, we've both questioned this. We both keep choosing each other.

I'm going to defer to a customary coyness in matters of emotion and say T hasn't changed my life, but rather, the way I think about my life. Since knowing him I have seen how to help myself be a better person - he showed me where the tools are - now that's worth a thousand times more than a rescue fantasy.

It may be my birthday this week, but my love, you're the one with the gift. Thank you.
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[info]belledejouruk
Nov. 8th, 2009 @ 12:00 am Michael Crichton
"I am certain there is too much certainty in the world."


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[info]qotdrss
Nov. 8th, 2009 @ 12:00 am Benjamin Franklin
"All human situations have their inconveniences. We feel those of the present but neither see nor feel those of the future; and hence we often make troublesome changes without amendment, and frequently for the worse."


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[info]qotdrss
Nov. 8th, 2009 @ 12:00 am Barbara Bush
"War is not nice."


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[info]qotdrss
Nov. 8th, 2009 @ 03:19 am For Old Snaggle Tooth by Charles Bukowski

I know a woman
who keeps buying puzzles
chinese
puzzles
blocks
wires
pieces that finally fit
into some order.
she works it out
mathematically
she solves all her
puzzles
lives down by the sea
puts sugar out for the ants
and believes
ultimately
in a better world.
her hair is white
she seldom combs it
her teeth are snaggled
and she wears loose shapeless
coveralls over a body most
women would wish they had.
for many years she irritated me
with what I consider her
eccentricities -
like soaking eggshells in water
(to feed the plants so that
they'd get calcium).
but finally when I think of her
life
and compare it to other lives
more dazzling, original
and beautiful
I realize that she has hurt fewer
people than anybody I know
(and by hurt I simply mean hurt).
she has had some terrible times,
times when maybe I should have
helped her more
for she is the mother of my only
child
and we were once great lovers,
but she has come through
like I said
she has hurt fewer people than
anybody I know,
and if you look at it like that,
well,
she has created a better world.
she has won.

Frances, this poem is for
you.
 

 


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[info]jaided79, posting in [info]greatpoets
Nov. 8th, 2009 @ 06:01 am Stickney Crater

Stickney Crater, the largest crater on the martian moon Phobos, Stickney Crater, the largest crater on the martian moon Phobos,


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[info]apod
Nov. 8th, 2009 @ 12:00 am Blogging Inspiration
During a quick stop at BAM today I found the latest issue of Artful Blogging magazine, which includes in the buzz section a quote from Yours Truly (is there anything cooler for online art junkie than being quoted in online art magazine? Probably not.) Naturally I bought up all the available copies, so I also have some to give away here.

For your chance to win one of them, in comments to this post name someone or something who inspires you to blog, write, or create in any fashion (or if you're running short in the inspiration department, just toss your name in the hat)* by midnight EST on Monday, November 9, 2009. I'll draw four names at random and send the winners a copy of the Nov-Dec-Jan issue of Artful Blogging magazine along with a surprise I hope will further inspire your creative talents. This giveaway is open to everyone on the planet, even if you've won something here at PBW in the past.

*Note: I'll be out of town tomorrow and Tom will be at his day job, so if your comment doesn't show up right away tomorrow don't worry; between the two of us we will moderate all pending comments before the giveaway deadline.
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[info]pbackwriterfeed
Nov. 7th, 2009 @ 10:56 pm Invisible Dreams // Toi Derricotte

La poesie vit d’insomnie perpetuelle
—René Char

There’s a sickness in me. During
the night I wake up & it’s brought

a stain into my mouth, as if
an ocean has risen & left back

a stink on the rocks of my teeth.
I stink. My mouth is ugly, human

stink. A color like rust
is in me. I can’t get rid of it.

It rises after I
brush my teeth, a taste

like iron. In the
night, left like a dream,

a caustic light
washing over the insides of me.

*

What to do with my arms? They
coil out of my body

like snakes.
They branch & spit.

I want to shake myself
until they fall like withered

roots; until
they bend the right way—

until I fit in them,
or they in me.

I have to lay them down as
carefully as an old wedding dress,

I have to fold them
like the arms of someone dead.

The house is quiet; all
night I struggle. All

because of my arms,
which have no peace!

*

 
I'm a martyr, a girl who's been dead two thousand years )
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[info]iatrogenicmyth, posting in [info]greatpoets
Nov. 8th, 2009 @ 12:22 am Girlfight

Certain things1 lately2 have been making me just a tiny bit tetchy and upset so I thought I would work out my feelings by watching Michelle Rodriguez as Diana Guzman in Girlfight.

I love this movie. Saw it first when it came out in 2000. Loved it even more on this second viewing. There aren’t many movies about female rage. There aren’t many movies about powerful, strong women outside of science fiction, where they’re all too often sexualised and trivialised.3 Guzman is a girl who wants to learn how to box and she’s really good at it.

So Girlfight is a sports movie. Outside of dance movies there’s nothing I love more than sports movies.4 I love that they all have the same basic elements:

  1. Protag with burning desire to be a dancer/athlete who convinces unwilling guru to take them on as a student.
  2. Family and/or financial obstacles.
  3. Lots of training.
  4. Romantic entanglement(s).
  5. Climatic contest/finals.

Girlfight has all of these, but never feels cliched. What keeps it fresh is how real the movie is: the script is excellent, particularly the dialogue, the casting spot on, and the location shooting and sets are so real you can smell the dank sweat and grime of the gym.

And Michelle Rodriguez seethes. But is also vulnerable and raw and, yes, real.5 She reminds me of Micah Wilkins, the protag of Liar. Not physically, but emotionally, and in the way she moves and navigates through life: her pain and her anger are very like Micah’s. I wonder if subconsciously I was thinking about Girlfight when I wrote Liar? Diana Guzman even has a younger brother (though he’s lovely) and lives in a tiny flat in New York City (though it’s Brooklyn not Manhattan).

The fights are totally convincing.6 It totally looks like punches are being given and received. Even her black eyes convinced me.7

The romance works. It doesn’t feel tacked on. I love seeing a male and female boxer negotiating what it means for them to fight each other in the ring. A female fighter is not perceived in the same way that a male one is. Most people see a fight between the two as no win for the guy. If he loses he’s a wuss, if he wins, well, der, of course, he’s the guy. Or he’s a thug.

I love that there are gentle, loving men in this movie who are able to show it. I love Hector, Diana’s trainer. I love her brother Tiny. And her romantic interest, Adrian.

And, yes, this movie passes the Bechdel test. Diana’s best friend doesn’t have a big role but she’s there and they talk about things other than boys. Could that be because it was written and directed and produced by women? Karyn Kusama’s brilliant writing and directing of this movie almost makes me want to see Jennifer’s Body which she also directed.

Did I mention that Girlfight is totally YA? Diana’s in her final year of high school.

The final fight is AWESOME. But the resolution is even better.

I guess what I’m saying is if you haven’t seen Girlfight then you really need to. Like NOW.

It makes me want to write a proper sports novel. I do have a kernel of an idea for a WNBA one . . .

  1. Like the people who responded to Rihanna’s moving interview about domestic violence by talking about her forehead being too big. WTF? 1) Her forehead is gorgeous 2) Way to attempt to change the subject. Talking about domestic violence makes you uncomfortable, doesn’t it? Poor baby.
  2. I’m not going to link to any of the horrific events that have taken place over the last few days. Too upsetting.
  3. You know what I mean. All those movies where the main response is: “Girls kicking butt is hawt!”
  4. I am more and more convinced that any movie without a training montage is not worth seeing.
  5. Sorry to overuse the word.
  6. I adore Love and Basketball but the games are not convincing. I never believe that the two leads have real hops. Especially not the guy.
  7. Though they could have had more swelling. Just sayin’.
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[info]larbalestier
Nov. 7th, 2009 @ 04:56 pm Brendan Constantine
Meddling

Before I wrote poems I meddled.
As a boy I would dress the dog
in my clothes and get my parents
to fight over who I resembled.
I told my brothers there was
no gravity and watched them flail
their short arms as they bounced
around the ceiling. Once I tore
a page from the kitchen calendar
and nothing happened for a month
though I don't really remember it.
What turned me around was a night
in my eighteenth summer spent
watching old movies. I was tuning
our black & white when I touched
the glass and found it soft and wet.
Fitting my hands into the frame
it came away in my hands like yolk.
The people in the film stopped
talking and looked around, startled.
I got ready for them to be angry
but instead they just stood there;
the man scratching his forehead
with the sight of his empty gun,
the woman smoothing her skirts,
unable to face me, my terrible colors.


two more )

These poems are from Letters to Guns, which I am apparently not allowed to link to but uh, google it and you'll get an Amazon link. Highly recommend checking it out.
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[info]eugenetapdance, posting in [info]greatpoets
Nov. 7th, 2009 @ 07:12 pm The Love Song of the Square Root of Minus One, by Richard Siken
The Love Song of the Square Root of Minus One (i) 
Richard Siken


I am the wind and the wind is invisible, all the leaves tremble but I am invisible, blackbird over the dark field but I am invisible, what fills the balloon and what it moves through, knot without rope, bloom without flower, galloping without the horse, the spirit of the thing without the thing, location without dimension, without a within, song without throat, word without ink, wingless flight, dark boat in the dark night, shine without light, pure velocity, as the hammer is a hammer when it hits the nail and the nail is a nail when it meets the wood and the invisible table begins to appear out of mind, pure mind, out of nothing, pure thinking, hand of the mind, hand of the emperor, arm of the empire, void and vessel, sheath and shear, and wider, and deeper, more vast, more sure, through silence, through darkness, a vector, a violence, and even farther, and even worse, between, before, behind, and under, and even stronger, and even further, beyond form, beyond number, I labor, I lumber, I fumble forward through the valley as winter, as water, a shift in the river, I mist and frost, flexible and elastic to the task, a fountain of gravity, space curves around me, I thirst, I hunger, I spark, I burn, force and field, force and counterforce, agent and agency, push to your pull, parabola of will, massless mass and formless form, dreamless dream and nameless name, intent and rapturous, rare and inevitable, I am the thing that is hurtling towards you...
 

The Love Song of the Square Root of Minus One (ii)

I am the hand that lifts the rock, I am the eye that sees the worm, I am the mind that strings the worm and throws the line and feels the tug, the flex in the pole, the key in the lock, as the root breaks rock, as sunlight streams across the plain to make the world visible again, foot by foot, I find the groove, the trace in the thicket, seed to flower to fruit to seed, a holy pilgrim moving through the stations of the yardstick, I track, I follow, a flashlight, a crowbar, I find the fulcrum, I hinge and turn, a simple machine, frictionless and efficient as an equal sign, I manifest, votive and incandescent, shrinking the space between here and there I become the future, as drowsiness overcomes the dreamer, as the eye of the archer is the eye of the target, I flip and fold, I superimpose, the letter delivered, the year decembered, I become location, plum pit and apple core, I am motionless and you veer towards me, the eye to which you are relative, single point, silent witness, there to your here, I decide and calibrate, magnetized for your revelation, the doors burst open, I am your outcome, the verb in the sentence, intransitive, end of the road, hook and bait, polestar and checkmate, time and space as I observe them serve me like gravity, lamp to your moth, dot to your map, home and heart and hearth, a selfishness, submit, surrender, I am your arrival, there is no refusal, we are here, you see, together, we are already here...
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[info]leda_swanson, posting in [info]greatpoets
Nov. 7th, 2009 @ 03:04 pm Climate Success in Copenhagen
Alex Steffen: A quick note. Several people have asked me recently about Copenhagen and COP-15, and whether the summit isn't a failure from the start, since it...
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[info]worldchanging
Nov. 7th, 2009 @ 07:37 pm Q&A the Second

Q: How does it feel to walk away? You’ve just complete a ginormous four book cycle (well, you finished it a while ago). Is it refreshing to turn back to other things, or do you light-headed?

A: The answer, of course, is yes. I am tremendously grateful to be done with the Doctrine of Labyrinths, but I’m also a little bewildered and finding it difficult to settle down to work on anything else. On the third hand, I know, down to the very bottom of my soul, that this story is done. Unlike with the previous three books, there’s nothing leftover, for me, at the end of Corambis. I have no desire, temptation, inclination, or other impulse to keep telling Felix, Mildmay, and Kay’s stories. I love them dearly, don’t get me wrong, and I hope I’ve made it clear that their lives continue past the end of the book, but the story is over–just as, for me, the stories of most of the characters in The Mirador are over at the end of that book, even though many readers seem to feel that there are a lot of loose ends. I don’t want my characters’ lives to end with the end of the story, so I actually go to a good deal of trouble to make it clear that everything isn’t tied up neatly with a big red bow. Their lives go on, and they have more problems to solve and consequences to deal with, but the story I am telling is over. And I am grateful for the chance to move on to different stories in different worlds.

Q: Do you ever find it difficult to accurately and sympathetically portray trauma/PTSD in fiction without getting too dramatic? It’s a pretty delicate balance, and one I think you manage well.

A: Thank you. And, yes, it is difficult. I generally end up writing a very cathartic emo draft and then going back and taking out all the melodrama–letting the characters tell me how they react instead of moving them around like puppets of Angst, Despair, and Woe. The difference is frequently remarkable, so I suppose if I have anything resembling advice on the subject, that would be it. Each character is going to react to trauma differently, based on personality and experience and cultural expectations–and the particulars of the situation. It’s never one-size-fits-all.

Q: How do you turn ideas into short stories?

A: The same way you get to Carnegie Hall.

Okay, now that I’ve got the flip answer out of my system . . . unfortunately, I don’t have anything better to take its place. It depends on the idea and the story. Sometimes it’s very straightforward: my short story “Straw” was a dream. I turned it into a rational narrative mostly by unpacking things the dream compressed and compressing things the dream overelaborated. It took me most of a Sunday morning, and what I had when I’d finished is almost word for word what Strange Horizons published. That is, however, simple and painless and lovely, is not even remotely the norm. The other story of mine that Strange Horizons has published, “Draco campestris,” is a story that accreted, grain by grain, over the course of several years–actually, it must be more than a decade, since the idea of the Centre and the arcs of the Circumference is from Emily Dickinson, and I think it’s from reading Dickinson in high school, rather than in graduate school. Another part of the story, including the title, comes from a necklace made by Elise Matthesen, which I admired for two or three years before I found the story in it–and then it took me another two years to get the story out of it. Which happened by writing all those disconnected fragments and then figuring out which order they belonged in and why. Accretion is much more typical for me, and I’m always, honestly, a little surprised when what emerges from it is recognizably a story.

The other way I write stories is pastiche. The Kyle Murchison Booth stories are all M. R. James and H. P. Lovecraft pastiche, with a side of Arthur Conan Doyle and some Edward Gorey as a palate cleanser. In essence, they’re mysteries, which is a little like the prose equivalent of a sonnet, and there it’s just a matter of fitting what I want to say into that mold. (This is not always as easy as I’m making it sound.) The ideas behind those stories tend to be simpler, and thus they’re also simpler in form. No weird chopped up narratives (like “Letter from a Teddy Bear on Veterans’ Day“) or stories like “Draco campestris” where there’s barely any narrative at all. I can also get ideas for Booth stories from dreams; “The Yellow Dressing Gown” was nearly as simple to write as “Straw,” although the two stories could not otherwise be more different.

And sometimes I can’t manage the trick at all. I have half a dozen short stories languishing on my hard drive because I cannot figure out how to turn the idea into a story.

So maybe my most honest answer would be “I don’t have a clue.”


There’s one more question for this month, but as the question itself is a spoiler for Corambis, it and my answer are on my blog, so that everyone can choose whether they want to read it or not.</p>
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[info]storytellunplug
Nov. 7th, 2009 @ 12:41 pm Storytellers Unplugged for November
Another Q&A session.

One of the questions is a spoiler for the end of Corambis, so I'm going to stick it behind a cut-tag.

here )
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[info]truepenny
Nov. 8th, 2009 @ 01:40 am These Boys Have Never Really Grown into Men - Brian Patten
These Boys Have Never Really Grown into Men
Brian Patten


These boys have never really grown into men,
despite their disguises, despite their adult ways,
their sophistication, the camouflage of their kindly smiles.
They are still up to their old tricks,
still at the wing-plucking stage. Only now
their prey answers to women's names.
And the girls, likewise, despite their disguises,
despite their adult ways, their camouflage of need,
still twist love till its failure seems not of their making.
Something grotesque migrates hourly
between our different needs,
and is in us all like a poison.
How strange I've not understood so clearly before
how liars and misers, the cruel and the arrogant
lie down and make love like all the others,
how nothing is ever as expected, nothing is ever as stated.
Behind doors and windows nothing is ever as wanted.
The good have no monopoly on love.
All drink from it. All wear its absence like a shroud.
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[info]onestringed, posting in [info]greatpoets
Nov. 7th, 2009 @ 07:09 am Endweek NaNoPost


We've hit the one-week mark for National Novel Writing Month, which is a good time to stop and take a look at how the work is going. With my normal work schedule I tend to work six days straight and use the seventh to look back, decide if I need to adjust something, and then take care of the thousand small details that I set aside during the writing process.

Some examples from my NaNoNovel: this week I had to coin about thirty words as I needed them to appear in the story; today I'll make sure that I'm happy with my choices as I update the novel glossary. I've brought in three new secondary characters; I'll update their character worksheets with bits about them from their scenes. I also like to keep a running list of tertiary or background characters who are named or described so I don't populate the story with any who are interchangeable or confusing with another.

Because I'm fond of several letters and tend to overuse them, one of my tricks with character naming is to make up two alphabetical lists of given names and surnames by letter, leaving open the letters I haven't used in the event I need another new name in the story. This prevents me from having a story overrun by J-named characters or those who all have surnames that end with -an, -er or -et.

My energy level and interest in my story is still in the high ranges, and I hope yours is, too. But if mine weren't, this would also be the day I decide if I want to keep going or scrap the WIP and do something else. No matter how carefully I plan -- and baby, I am the Queen of Planet Plan -- I really don't know until I've written a story for a week or two if I'm going to be able to move in and live in it for the next five to eight weeks. That said, once I make that one-week commitment, I will not stop until the story is finished, no matter how plodding or stressful the writing becomes. As much as I dislike working on a story that loses my interest halfway through, I hate unfinished manuscripts even more.

I'm glad I was able to write a little extra each day and buy myself two days off from NaNo to rest and think and reorganize my thoughts, but if something hits me this weekend that I need to get down on the page, I will write more. Even my days off aren't set in stone; I think you have to go with whatever the work demands (as long as it's reasonable.)

In my daily NaNoNotes book (to see larger version, click on the image) I've been jotting down some reminders on things I need to research as they come up in the story. There's a system of catering in India that uses metal buckets to deliver hot lunches to working people in the cities (and this is just a vague memory of something I watched once in a documentary.) My "D" note is a nudge to research that real-world practice in order to doublecheck the logic of the world-building I based on it. I'm also probably going to meet with one of my life-experts this weekend for lunch and a Q&A; I need to prep my question list so I can thoroughly interrogate him about what I need to know about his field of expertise and put together a convincing character who does the same thing. Life-experts are great because they can give you insight and behind-the-scenes info on their specialties that a writer can't usually find in books or other types of research (and while I've worked a lot of jobs, I've never been an animal control officer, a magician, a professional interior designer or the quarterback of a school football team.)

As you new NaNo'ers move into week two, you may find that the bright and shiny aspects of writing a novel are starting to flake off and it becomes a little harder to hit that keyboard every day. Until you reach the midway point (25,000 words written) these feelings may grow stronger and/or try to derail you. Don't let them. Once you hit the midway you begin to see the glimmer of the finish line ahead, and that will tug you through the last half of your writing experience. Your job now is to get to the place where that happens, even if it means slogging through the next seven days of writing.

Also, if you haven't knocked out as many words as you expected this past week, don't let that defeat you. I think the first week is really a time for you to settle into a writing routine of some sort, and develop good writing habits to carry you through the rest of your WIP.

So how do you guys feel about surviving the first week of NaNoWriMo? Let us know in comments.
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[info]pbackwriterfeed
Nov. 7th, 2009 @ 12:00 am Peter Ustinov
"It is our responsibilities, not ourselves, that we should take seriously."


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[info]qotdrss
Nov. 7th, 2009 @ 12:00 am Benjamin Disraeli
"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me."


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[info]qotdrss
Nov. 7th, 2009 @ 12:00 am Bertrand Russell
"The main things which seem to me important on their own account, and not merely as means to other things, are knowledge, art, instinctive happiness, and relations of friendship or affection."


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[info]qotdrss
Nov. 7th, 2009 @ 12:00 am Paul Fix
"The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory."


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[info]qotdrss

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